DIRECTION
 by Christine Hargan, BSc (Hons) Psychology, based in Spain
 www.whatsholdingyouback.biz 
 
There is dignity in suffering; nobility in pain; but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!

Do you have it, or need help in finding it?

Many people happily plod their way through life as if they are on automatic pilot without giving a thought to the direction in which they are heading. Other people feel like they are swimming in treacle – putting in super-human effort, getting nowhere and being dragged down by the weight they have to bear. Other people seem to be really lucky in that they are focussed and seem to easily find solutions to most things that come their way.

Strange isn’t it how different people can view and ultimately deal with the same situation in diverse ways. So who is right and who is wrong? The simple answer is probably that the solution they find is right for them.

Have you ever had a brain-wave an idea that could be life changing, spotting an enormous gap in the market that could bring enormous business success and potential wealth, but were reluctant to put it into practice?

Why do some people seem to have focus and single mindedly follow it and gain success? There are many candidate answers, but to find the right solution, for you it can be helpful to look backwards before you can move forwards. Are you, confident and positive about your abilities? Do you get excited about new ideas? Can you build a plan of how you will get from point A to point B? if not, why not?

Could it be something to do with what you have learned, or how you have learned? It can be argued that the educational system has let many people down, because, usually, it is paid for by the state and historically schools were set up to educate people to be useful members of society… and what is it desirable for those members of society achieve? That’s right - lots of profit for the heads of society. For many people who attended a state school their options upon leaving were limited because they were educated to work within industry and not to lead it.

Why educate children with the confidence and skills required to lead if it is financially rewarding for you to educate a work force who are programmed to follow? It is natural to follow well worn paths - the route of least resistance – we learn through repetition until a process is automatic and then we continue to repeat, because we don’t have to think about it. There are reasons though, to stop following the same well trodden path –
• The path may be blocked
• The path may no longer be necessary
• There may be a better path to follow

If you think of a familiar path in terms of mental ability – such as writing, or, signing your name, once you have learned to write, you practice and practice, because it’s necessary to write your name on your work, so that the teacher knows who has produced it. Your name, and indeed your style of writing has a familiar pattern to it, your brain uses a familiar pathway – the neural pathways, control the muscles and nerves in your eyes and your arm and hand until you reach a recognisable outcome. This ability becomes sooooo familiar, and as you progress through to adulthood your signature becomes unique to you, as this behaviour has become a well trodden path… the only reason for a change in this case is that there may, sometime in the future be a better path to follow … if you sign your name frequently you may streamline to make the process faster. Have you tried to change your handwriting to write consistently in another style? You will find that a difficult task, because of the strength of the neural pathway. The same can be said for any kind of change that you want to make in your life.

If you transfer this pathway into a behaviour such as bickering, the man has lost a crucial tool – he hadn’t put it away and forgot where he left it. So he shouts asking his partner where she’s put it. She hasn’t touched it and tells him so. He barks back because he wants it now. She responds angrily to the urgent demand …. After a search it turns up discarded, where it was last used. When the heated moment is gone if both partners dissect the incident they will probably find that although the detail varies - it follows a familiar path… very similar to their last quarrel.

It is for this reason that a structural approach is necessary. Often you have to move backwards before you can move forwards. Once the pathway has been uncovered, very often all that is required to facilitate a monumental change to take place in part of your life, for example a relationship issue, or a habit, or addiction to be broken is to make a very subtle change to the pathway. It could be as simple (as Milton Erikson once did) as prescribing the couple to quarrel only in the bath – the silliness of splashing water and being told they had to quarrel resolved the behaviour.

The key to successful treatment is in unlocking the path of a number of incidents so that a structure can be found. Often simply using counselling, or psycho-therapy to discuss the issue with the client will not uncover the whole path of events so it is desirable to use regression, under hypnosis to uncover the whole path. Once the cause is found the effect is treated.
 

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Christine Hargan, BSc (Hons) Psychology; Specialises in and treats the causes and effects of emotional disorders, confidence and addiction based issues with hypnotherapy, NLP and psychotherapy.